This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
