Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
