I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
