My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
