apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
