Betty ford says i'm here all night
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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