just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
