why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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