WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
