what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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