People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
