he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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