how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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