Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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