He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I looked at my own cervix.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
