She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
