i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Randomize
