i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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