i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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