i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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