You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
