it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
