did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Need sex. Gaining weight.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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