i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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