I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
