Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sext me about skeletons
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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