Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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