So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
