she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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