Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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