and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
