Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
