Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
