Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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