he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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