Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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