I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
