i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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