Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
