i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
