hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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