9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
