I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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