Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
