would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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