he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize