I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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