Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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