My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
