Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
