haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
