My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
being pregnant is like rehab
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Text me some of your sweat
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize