Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
