Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
