hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
