If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
