I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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