I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
