I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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