new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
P.S. I can't hear my feet
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
