i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
