YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
