At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
