He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
