That's when you crack a 10am beer
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
